Current weight: 282.4 lbs,
Total weight loss: 23.4 lbs.
A part of me can’t believe I’m about to tell this story. A bigger part of me can’t believe that it actually happened.
Not just because it was humiliating (it was) but also because it just seems so cliché (it is).
I Broke A Chair.
Literally.
(What is it with me and chairs, anyway??)
Yep. I broke a chair.
I still have a hard time believing it. And as much as I’d like to erase this memory from the depths of my mind, I thought it may be worthwhile to share it. To give another glimpse of the minor indignities and traumas faced by some of us who are overweight.
Breaking the Chair. Literally.
A few weeks ago, I attended an elegant work party honoring a colleague. It wasn’t a huge event – probably about 50 people – but it was a formal, sit-down dinner.
The celebration started with a cocktail hour, including an open bar and an array of delicious hors d’oeuvres offered by smartly dressed waiters. I had planned to enjoy a drink or two, in addition to some of the keto-friendly foods (foods that support a ketogenic diet). I was really enjoying the evening, particularly the chance to talk with so many people in a festive, stress-free environment.
After about an hour of socializing, the guests were ushered into the dining room, where beautifully laid tables with seating assignments awaited. Within minutes, I located my table which seated seven others including the guest of honor.
I circled the table and identified the place card with my name written neatly in calligraphy. I put down my purse and pulled out the chair, all the while smiling at my new dinner companions.
Then I sat.
And then I heard a CRACK as I felt my body fall several inches towards the floor.
It happened so fast, yet somehow time stood still. Sounds dramatic, but it’s exactly how it felt.
I immediately recognized what was happening and quickly shifted my weight from the chair to my thighs. With this, I was able to keep the chair — and myself — from completely collapsing to the floor. (Thank God for the little things.)
My thighs burned as I tried to suspend my weight in mid air, relieving the chair of its stress. I looked around, embarrassed and unsure of what to do next. The chair, unnaturally bent, was halfway to the ground.
I think only two people witnessed this event. Or if others did, they were too polite to acknowledge it. And fortunately, the two witnesses were the event organizers — two kind, young women. They heard the noise, saw the chair collapsing under my weight, and immediately knew what had occurred. One looked at me and whispered “Don’t worry. Just switch with me.”
Her chair was directly behind mine at the next table. I stood, and she discreetly swapped our chairs. I sat tentatively in the new one, which was sturdier. And within seconds, she had expertly switched her now-broken one with a new one brought in.
And the dinner proceeded as if nothing had happened.
But I knew what had happened. And I felt the humiliation, and the shame of the event. And then the anger and sadness, wondering how this could happen to me, especially when I had been doing so well and wasn’t even near my highest weight. Until then, I had felt proud of my accomplishments. But at that moment, it was as if the universe had spoken:
Oh silly woman. Don’t you see? You don’t, and will never, fit.
Some Lessons
I did manage to take a few positives from the evening.
The first: I survived relatively unscathed. Maybe a bit of a bruised ego, but nothing more. And I wasn’t going to let this experience become a setback for me. In the past, this may have affected me so much that I would quit my efforts to lose weight and get healthier. But not this time.
A broken chair would not break my spirit.
I also felt tremendous gratitude for the kindness expressed by the two women that evening. It was nice to witness, especially considering how much negativity there seems to be in the world today.
And finally – having a sense of humor helped. Even thinking about it now, despite my embarrassment and disbelief, I still have to laugh and roll my eyes at the experience and at myself.
And just to use it as another reason to continue on this wellness endeavor.
Day #53:
Current weight: 282.4 lbs
Total weight loss: 23.4 lbs
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