Current weight: 297.8 lbs
Total weight loss: -8 lbs.
This morning I had a continued loss on the scale – 1.4 pounds since yesterday, and 8 pounds overall. Even though much of this total weight is still fluid loss – I still love seeing the decrease! And I feel lighter. A little less burdened.
I have been checking for urine ketones (one of the ways to see if a ketogenic diet is working) and yesterday –the 4th day on the program — was the first time I had some positive urine ketones. To do this, I use ketone strips, which you can find in most pharmacies or on Amazon.
They can be a bit pricey, but the purple color change is definitely a positive reinforcement in this program! I got them in bulk and cut some of the strips lengthwise to double the number.
My Clothing Size Inventory
Recently I decided to do something that I hadn’t done before: take a clothing inventory to see exactly what what sizes and what clothes I had in my closet.
Now before listing my clothes, there are a couple of comments I wanted to make:
First:
I am not a shopper. I have never liked the act of shopping – whether for clothes, household items or other knickknacks. That’s not to say that I don’t like buying things. I just never enjoyed going to the store for hours – searching, browsing, considering. (Amazon Prime was definitely created for people like me.)
I feel like a betrayal to the previous generations of women in my family. My maternal grandmother not only loved regular shopping – she actually loved window shopping. For her, searching for gifts or things for her family was an enjoyable pastime. She knew the store employees and merchants all by name – and they all knew and loved her.
Second:
I only wear a small number of items that I own. This is not just because of my size (obviously I can’t wear the smaller clothes I have). But for some reason I stick with a few items of clothing even though I could wear more.
Finally:
As I looked at all my clothes, I was struck by their monotony. I didn’t realize how many shades of black and grey there are – I seem to own them all.
In fact, most of my clothes are dark, un-tailored, and un-patterned. And frankly, just un-inspired and un-inspiring. Is this a reflection of how I view my self and my life?
As I got bigger, my options and world, got smaller.
I think some of these issues may be common with people who are overweight. Having a range of sizes that don’t fit may seem completely ridiculous to many people – but maybe it’s not that unusual: a way to hold on to memories and hope simultaneously.
And I’m certainly not opposed to memories or hope. But as I looked at what I own, it occurred to me:
I have been living in the past and the future, while avoiding the present.
Currently, I wear a size 24 pants and XL tops. I have no idea how the total number of clothes I own compares to others. To some it may be a lot, and to others, a few. But either way, it’s me and what I have. Here goes:
My Clothing Size Inventory
Pants
(Size/#) |
Tops
(Size/#) |
Dresses/Skirts
(Size/#) |
26 – 1 | XXL – 2 | 20 – 1 |
24 – 7 | 18/20 – 1 | 18 – 1 |
22 – 2 | XL – 21 | XL – 4 |
20 – 2 | 16/16 – 2 | 16 – 3 |
18 – 4 | L – 14 | L – 2 |
16 – 4 | M – 7 | 14 – 4 |
14 – 3 | S – 2 | 12 – 3 |
12 – 4 |
For now, I’ll keep all the clothes.
But as I get smaller, I plan to donate or throw away what I don’t need. Although I think it’s good to have a ‘goal’ piece of smaller clothing during the process, today I vow not to buy sizes I cannot wear in the moment.
Time to focus on the present. And to start living in color.
Day #4:
Current weight: 297.8 lbs
Total weight loss: -8 lbs
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