Current weight: 270.6 lbs,
Total weight loss: 35.2 lbs.
Over 35 pounds lost this morning!! (Now that deserves a big woohoooo!!)
I am soooo close to breaking into the 260’s for the first time. I know that my weight will hover up and down around this number for a while as it always does, but eventually it will land in the 260’s. And then one day in the 250’s. And the the 240’s… Sometimes I’m amazed that this actually happen??
My Fitbit has made tracking much easier, so I’m excited to keep using it as part of this wellness endeavor and beyond. It has also been really interesting to see what my sleep patterns are like and how I can improve them. One thing I keep coming across is how important sleep is, and this is an aspect of health that I’d like to focus more on.
Looking back: a double-edged sword
Previously I mentioned that about two years ago, I got my first Fitbit watch. I remember being excited to use it to start another weight loss and get-healthy effort (yet again…). I think I used it consistently for a few weeks, and then sporadically for a few months, and then it ultimately landed in a drawer never to be seen again.
At the beginning, I considered my lack of progress a Fitbit Fail. But then I was finally honest with myself and acknowledged that it was not the Fitbit’s fault, but my own. It was a Me Fail.
Part of it may have been that I was more excited to have a Fitbit than I was actually to change my decisions and habits. I soon had to admit that the Fitbit, like many other health devices, is an excellent tool to lose weight and improve health. But that’s all it is – a tool, but not a magic one.
Anyway – when I signed back into my Fitbit account last week, some of my previous data was there, which took me by surprise. As did the the weight I had recorded in December of 2015 – two years ago this month. (I couldn’t find the actual day, just the month).
In December of 2015, my weight was 325.6 pounds.
Now this wasn’t a complete surprise — I’ve mentioned before that my highest weight about two years ago was around 328 pounds (agh!!). But there was something about seeing the actual number, documented and at a specific time, that was somewhat shocking.
- One the one hand, I have made such progress since that time. As of this morning, I am exactly 55 pounds less than I was two years ago. And this is excellent news! An accomplishment that I should acknowledge and celebrate.
- But on the other hand — the pessimistic, frustrated, discouraged hand — it’s hard to acknowledge that I still have the same struggles with health and weight that I did two years ago. Or five years ago. Or ten, or fifteen. Basically since adolescence it has been a lingering and persistent struggle. And what real progress have I made since then??
If I focus too much on that second hand, I will get discouraged and likely just quit, as I have so often in the past. For me it is quite literally a crossroads:
Which hand do I focus on? Which hand do I encourage and cultivate?
I know this is a decision I have to make actively and repeatedly. Whether I like it or not, the crossroads will always be there. But maybe each tough decision I make will make the next one just a little bit easier. Maybe I can’t change the crossroads, but I can change how I respond to them.
I’d really like to see if that’s the case.
So today I choose to focus on that first hand. And to be encouraged with all the progress that I have made.
Day #96:
Current weight: 270.6 lbs
Total weight loss: 35.2 lbs
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